I ran today.
It felt great.
I've needed to clear my head for a few days now.
A few days ago, I met with school counselors to get my life figured out.
I have two or three more years of school ahead of me.
Two, for a B.S. in Art.
or Three, for a B.F.A with a Graphic Design emphasis.
Can I just tell you how hard it is to see the full picture sometimes?
I am definitely continually learning to have faith that things will work out.
I am grateful for a Heavenly Father that knows this is hard for me.
Knows that I take things personal and feels defeated.
Knows that if I am being prayerful-I can feel at peace.
I keep having thoughts of still feeling rejected and defeated for not passing the review for Interior Design.
I keep telling myself, Lauren pull yourself together. Get over it.
But that is easier said than done.
I keep thinking that I'm going to get a call or an e-mail saying, oh J.K. come back in.
But that's ridiculous. I know.
It's going to take time to let Heavenly Father take the steering wheel of my life for a bit and help me see the big picture.
The big picture of choosing a major that fits me better.
A major that I can handle.
A major that Heavenly Father has been planning for me.
A major that allows me to still be a mother.
A major that is just for me.
I'm sorry things are so tough. Picking a major is hard, hard stuff. Prayers and love are coming your way from the McConkie home.
ReplyDeleteI remember how I felt when I realized that piano performance was not what I'd be doing after years of planning on it—numb, almost, hardly believing that I was starting from square one and not believing that anything out there could make me as happy as piano might have. I felt like I had failed and that all my dreams had gone up in smoke.
Fast forward a few years and I found a major (and even more so a minor) that continues to bring me happiness every single day and that allows me to work from home during Sophie's naps.
Anyway. I don't know if anything really helps when you're in the midst of something like this, but just know that even though it can sound cliche, the Lord really does have great things in store for you even if you can't see how it will all unfold. Chin up! You are so talented in so many ways and whatever you are, you'll be a good one.