Rio

was adorable.

I haven't laughed that many times in forever.

Goodbye, Millie.

Today, my adopted grandma, Millie passed away.

(August 2010, this was right before I left for USU.)

The last moments I shared with Millie was yesterday,  was when my mom called me to come down to Millie's house ASAP.

I rushed down the street, hoping that it wasn't anything urgent.

My mom needed me to help Millie walk back to her bed. She had been in a lot of pain and needed to get to lay down.  My mom and I had to literally lift her up off of the seat she was sitting on and help her walk with her walker back to bed. About halfway down the hallway, Millie said she HAD to stop and she needed a rest. My mom and I told her that we were almost there and to keep going. The next thing we knew, she slipped through our arms and collapsed to the floor. At that point, my heart raced. I thought we had lost her right then.

My mom and I lifted her into a chair and she began vomiting and she said she was in so much pain.

We told her, that we HAD to hurry and get her to her bed, but she said she just couldn't walk any farther. I cannot tell you how hard this was for me. I had never seen her in such terrible shape in my life.  Millie grasped her frail hands around mine and my mom's and we just sat and waited for numerous minutes.

My mom turned to Millie and said, "Millie, we need to get you to your bed, you need to take your medicine and get sleep."

Millie said she couldn't.

My mom then confidently said, "Millie, I believe if we say a little prayer he will give you the strength to walk to your bed."

At that moment my mom's eyes began to water and at that moment, I was so grateful to be there with my mom. My mom has spiritual strength. She relies on God and even something like just having the strength to walk 5 feet for Millie, was just what we needed.

Great news, we were able to get Millie into bed and take her meds.

My mom and I had to carry her, to her bed and Millie kept saying that her back was killing her.

My mom and I's final moments with Millie was rubbing her back for relief.

Even though this story was sad and very hard for me to experience, I am grateful that my mom and I were able to be there for Millie when she needed us most.

I remember walking home with my mom after Millie feel asleep  and I told her, "Mom she really needs to pass. I can't keep watching her be in so much pain and I can't imagine how much pain SHE is in."

The Lord agreed with us and felt like her time on this earth was over.

-----------------------------------------------

Here is how we knew Millie:

We moved into the home we are in now in April of 1993 (a year after I was born). Millie's husband passed away August of that year. After he passed away, my family adopted Millie as our grandma. We looked up to her, as we look up to our real grandmas. She meant so much to us.

We, kids, spent hundreds of hours visiting with her daily, bringing her home-cooked meals, feeding her cats for her and taking care of simple house and yard work. Even though we spent a lot of time helping her, she returned the favor in numerous ways.

She was always there for us when we needed someone to talk to. I can remember numerous times with not just me, but my siblings...getting in trouble with our parents and by default, we chose to "run away," of course our parents weren't worried, because we headed straight to Millie's. 

She loved talking about her husband. She told us the same stories about when he used to run the movies on a regular basis. Of course, we never corrected her...but chose to embrace her stories and listen carefully.

She was there for us when we got simple bee stings or little scratches. She would bandage us up and give us what proper ointments we needed.

Not only was she a listening ear, but a little doc and a loving woman who cared about us so much.

She was a gem. I sure will miss her.

But, I know that now she is free of pain and in the arms of her husband.

Until we meet again. XOXO.

So I've decided to take up running, again.

I've been in and out of running for the past year or so.
During second semester (Jan-April), I was running 3-4 times a week.
When I finished up my first year at USU, I took a break from running.
But....last week, I have decided to re-dedicate myself.
I have 2 great runs last week, and I want to double that this week.

I really do enjoy running.
Even though it is hard.
It's great.

My cousin Kara (an amazing runner) bought me this book:

I'm just a few chapters into the book, but I wanted to share some of my favorite things I've read...
So, those that are runners or those that want to start taking up running, listen up,

-Running can be the highlight of your day, every day, and that running for pure pleasure is the surest way to run well.

-Run for time, not speed or distance.

-You are a runner when you say (and believe) you are a runner. Period.

-Overcome self-consciousness. One thing that stops a lot of people from running or becoming runners, is they don't want to be seen running in their own neighborhood. Don't let that stop you!

-Running your first 5k or marathon could end up being the wrong goal at the wrong time if it causes too much stress. no one but you will be able to make this call.

-You have to work on your mental toughness.


-As a new runner, all your runs should be easy runs until you have created your foundation.

-Running is not an all or nothing commitment each day.

-Running is a gift in your life and you should enjoy it.

-Running is very forgiving of cluelesseness. Just do it.

-If you are constantly worrying about everything you have to do that day while you're out for a run, you're really not giving running the chance it deserves.

-Run for reasons that work for you. It's best to pick a reason or reasons that really resonate. Some, say "half for vanity, half for sanity!"

Kids say the darndest things...

Here is a look into my daily life at work....Here are some funny and great moments I've had recently...

I teach a level 4 class...(a class of girls approaching the teenage years. *yelp!*)

Yesterday, one of the girls ( a 12 year old), thought that one of the lifeguards on duty was dang attractive. 

As she swam past him, she did this all mysterious voice and said, "ooohhh hey...what's up?" (smiling huge...) 

The lifeguard looked at her and just did this smile...(the smile, that someone just said something awkward and you don't know how to reply ha ha.)

I then looked over at him and after that, she turned to me and said, "Back off teacher, he's mine. Don't look at him in that way." (Thinking to myself, what way? ha ha.) He's like 17 for crying out loud.

----------------------------

This is a tad awkward, but I have to share it. Don't hold this one against me okay?

I teach a level 3 class..(all boys around age 10+) and I introduced them to breaststroke.

One boy turned to me with a disgusted look on his face and said, "Teacher, we don't have breasts?"

I burst into laughter and told them I had to agree.

We ended up naming the stroke "Cheststroke" and that is the only name we "allow" in our class.

How funny and observant kids are so young.

---------------------------- 

I teach an adaptive class...(a private lesson with a child or adult with disabilities).

The girl I teach is so sweet. Her eyes light up every time she sees me. She lives for swimming lessons. Last Friday, she said "I'm really going to miss you because I won't see you tomorrow or Sunday. But I hope you have a good day at church. I'll see you Monday and we can swim more, right?" She always says she'll miss me, it's the cutest thing.

Today, I was throwing rings across the pool (to practice her distance swimming and diving) and I supposedly threw them really far. She turned to me and said, "Wow teacher you have really strong muscles, especially your arms." I thanked her and was surprised that maybe lifting weights are acyually making a difference. She then came up to me and felt my triceps and said, "Never mind teacher, they are super soft...." Hahaha. I later flexed for her and she said I was super strong. Ohhhh man. :)

----------------------------

I teach a Pre1 class (a class of insane class of 5 kids, 3 years old.)

Usually, it is inane to keep order in that class. The kids are insane and just love to have fun. Which, I don't blame them, but when they jump off the wall and begin to drown, we have a problem. Ha ha. Anyways, I have one girl in my class that has been traumatized with deep water, because her brother almost drowned last Summer. It was very traumatic for her and has been extremely fearful of going out in deeper water with me. But.......YESTERDAY, she let me take her out in the deep water and she did amazing!! I kept telling her how brave she was and she kept saying over and over again, "I'm BRAVE! I did it!"

In between the funny moments, I have amazing moments, like the last one I shared that makes my job amazing! I love the progress these kids have made and continue to make!

Betsy Reeves

This is in honor of one of my best friends, Betsy Reeves, "G6"

She's living in Logan for the Summer, and she said that I don't blog enough.

So...here I am not only blogging, but bragging about how amazing she is.

Betsy and I met back in Mrs. Woolstenhume's Honor's English class in 10th grade. I remembered working with her on group projects and sitting next to her, but I honestly didn't think that we'd end up being friends like we are today. I do remember though, thinking she was absolutely hilarious and had a great personality.

We weren't really super tight that year, but I still considered her a pretty good friend then. 

We got really close during Senior year, when I became really good friends with some of her best friends, Brianna Dickerson and Sara Daw. I had AP History with both of them, and we all ended up getting tied together and got very close.

Betsy ranks up with one of the greatest friends I have. She has high standards and lives a very Christ-like life. She is hilarious to be around and makes everyone laugh. But she's not the type of person that has that "rude-humor." If you get my drift. She is also very caring and loves talking with people. Her and I would meet up at the library on a regular basis to just talk. It was some of the funnest but also some of the best times I've had with her. She always wanted to hear about my life, and put her life on hold. She is amazing and I sure miss having her around. :)

My Bucket List

Do humanitarian work abroad.

Donate plasma.

Ride a donkey in Greece.

Design my own house.

Visit every state in the U.S.

Go on a study abroad.

Fly in a hot air balloon.

Catch a firefly in a jar.

Serve an LDS mission.

Ride a tandem bike.

Kiss in the rain.

Mud fight in a massive dress.

Go snorkeling.

Inspire someone.

Run a half.

Paint out of the country.

Swimming Lessons

I started teaching swimming lessons this week and I love it.
Even though there are some kids that I feel like ringing their necks, at times. I really enjoy what I do.
I love seeing the success in each one of my kids.
They mean a lot to me and I love that they are developing a talent.
Swimming is a huge part of my life and I hope that these kids will love it as much as I do.

Acceptance into the USU Interior Design Program

Last week, I was accepted into the USU Interior Design Program!!!!

I cannot even express my gratitude for this opportunity.

I feel like I now know what I should be doing in my life. I feel like I've been in limbo the past few months and it was definitely stressful. I had been so unsure about choosing Interior Design as my major. But it turns out, this is what I'm supposed to do....and I CANNOT WAIT! :)

It would be terribly selfish of me to say that I got in just because I worked hard. I am not denoting my hard work in any way though. I put in hundreds of hours for my Acceptance project, final projects, assignments, drawings, sketches and tests. But....

I know that I could not have done this without the companionship of the Holy Ghost and my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I made sure to stay in tune with the Spirit and do what was required of me. Including reading my scriptures, attending church activities and meaningful prayer.

Thank you for all your support, love and encouragement. It meant the world to me.

40 11:11 wishes later, deep prayers, hard work, hundreds of hours of sketching & photoshop assignments, here is where I end up.

happy 19 months, jake!

happy 19 months, jake :)

in honor of that, i want to post his last letter.

i don't usually post his letters on my blog, but it's probably his most powerful letter yet.

enjoy.

Hey Family!!

Manuel was baptized last Saturday. We ended up filling the font a little low because we thought that because of his weight the water would rise.. It was exactally the opposite, the water didn´t rise. We turned the hot water knob on in the baptisimal font hoping that it would fill up rapidly. Manuel weighs a little under 400 lbs, so we put two chairs for him to sit on. It ended up that about half of his body was out of the water, so we resorted to the ¨Sunbeam Chairs¨, the chairs that the sumbeamers use. This made life easier, the first time he was baptized his leg was sticking out, we had to have him cross his legs the second time.. and after the second time he was completely submurged. He recieved the Holy Ghost yesterday in Sacrament meeting, after the branch president confirmed him as member of the church .. we shook his hands and he was crying because he knew for sure that he was in the right place and he made the right decision.

It´s such a ¨Pay Day¨ seeing someone make a covenant with God, seeing someone recieve the Holy Ghost. God has people prepared for each missionary, our job is to find them.

This week I´ve read Acts chapter 5 quite a few times. The following below is a story.

 1  But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, ^asold a possession,

 2   And ^akept back ^bpart of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain ^cpart, and laid it at the apostles’ feet.

 3   But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to ^alie to the Holy Ghost, and to ^bkeep back part of the price of the land?

 4   Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not ^alied unto men, but unto ^bGod.

 5   And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and ^agave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things.

 6   And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried him out, and buried him.

 7   And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in.

 8   And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much.

 9   Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to ^atempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out.

 10   Then fell she down ^astraightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband.

In this story we learned that the portion that Ananias and Sapphira payed wasn´t sufficent. In this case they were talking about Tithing, or a Offering. We can apply this also to ourselves and to the church.. Are we really giving the ammount of time, and the ammount of service that god expects from us in our callings? Are we really paying 10% of all of our income?  As a missionary this applies to us also, are we really putting in the effort that God expects from us, or are we putting in less that God expects from us?

God’s vision of missionary work has been shared with his prophets. They see the same opportunity that He does.

President Spencer W. Kimball once said, “If you could only see the vision I have. I wish I had your bodies to do this work. I would run from house to house telling everyone of the gospel, and after I lost strength to run I would begin to walk, and after I collapsed from walking, I would begin to crawl, and after my knees were so bloody that I could not use them I would use my arms to drag myself, and once my muscle in my body was gone I would begin to yell…oh, only if you could see the vision as I have.”

We need to also apply this to us as members of the church. Are we really doing all that we can so that everyone can have the blessings of the restored gospel in their lives? Are we really preaching and standing as a witness of the restored church in all times and all places? God only expects the best out of us, the best effort and the best enthusiam in doing his work.

 Missionary Work changes lives. We don´t need to have a Plack to be a ¨Missionary¨. The Lord’s plan of happiness is purposely designed to give each recipient greater peace, direction, and purpose in life.

“The gospel of Jesus Christ as restored through the prophet Joseph Smith will bless your family, fulfill your deepest desires and meet your spiritual needs,” Preach My Gospel. This promise is certainly true for all investigators. But it is equally true for all who get involved in missionary work.

“We care because the Lord, who knows the source of all happiness, has asked us to do [missionary work] and has assured us blessings and happiness and joy if we will do it. We care because when we share the gospel with others, we unavoidably get outside of ourselves; we think and pray and work for the blessing of others, and this only further enriches and quickens us by the Holy Spirit. The list of byproducts to ourselves is endless – growth in our testimonies, growth in our knowledge of the gospel, growth in our faith, more answered prayers. The eternal truth is: that which we willingly share, we keep; and that which we selfishly keep to ourselves, we lose.” President Thomas S. Monson, Oct. 1977.

I love you all, have a wonderful Memorial Day.. I forgot it was Memorial Day by the way!

Love, Elder Hillman :)

Okay, so maybe I'm impatient.

I have been waiting for my acceptance letter for what seems like forever.
For those of you that don't "Facebook" me, I have been waiting to hear back from the USU Interior Design Program.
I submitted my portfolio the first of April, and they said we'd hear back the end of May.
So, I'm debating if I really am being impatient...
Is it really too much to send me a letter to say what my future is going to be?

Frustrating.

But also, every day that passes, I give a sigh of relief, because I'm afraid of the outcome.